On Saturday, Feb. 20th auditions for America's Next Top Model Cylcle 17 was in full force. Yes ANTM is now in it's 17th cycle and it isn't slowing down a bit! Miss Tyra Banks brought us the "Real World" for models way back in 2003 and it's still as fierce as ever. And once again the line wrapped around the entire top floor of the Fashion Centre at Pentagon City Mall-- as hundreds of hopeful girls waited in line for hours; all vying for the opportunity to audition to be chosen as the next "Top Model." But don't take my word for it. Check out the photos here and stay tuned for my interviews with all the girls!
The line wrapped all around the top floor.
The girls this year had IPads, Ipods and Kindles to keep them company.
This stunning beauty was already chosen as one of Tyra's favorites from Cycle 14.
All the girls were telling me why they thought they should be chosen.
This candidate told me that confidence is key.
One of my absolute top picks for this year. Stay tuned for my interview with this gorgeous gal.
It's all about the hair. Jalissa had the confidence and character for sure!
Short spikey hair ala Halle Berry just may have been the theme this year.
Short, sheen and confidant again was the theme.
Like mother like daughter! Cute duo for sure. (Mom was just there for moral support.)
Sassy stripes. It was all about being bold and beautiful for these girls!
Look out for my interviews with all the girls from this year's tryouts. And stay tuned as Markette and I will narrow it down to who we think should be in the the Top 3 for the DC auditions.
To contact us Click HERE Ummmmmm...guys? I think I made a mistake. I decided to recap Britain and Ireland's Next Top Model, because I've enjoyed the show in the past aaaaaaand...they've changed the format. It's not good. Not at all. This may be my first and only BINTM recap.
The episode starts out with an introduction to the judges. First impressions? Elle looks beautiful as always, except for a terrible Toddlers-And-Tiaras-esque hair piece. Grace is a stylist but has trouble dressing herself (terrible earrings!). Charlie looks like a cute Pet Shop Boy. Then there is Julien McDonald. He looks vile.
Did you ever watch the show from a few years back called Project Catwalk? It was the UK rip-off of Project Runway, and Julien was a judge. I hated his judging. It was like he wrote a bunch of insults in advance (or hired writers) and was mean for the sake of being mean. He was trying to be a meaner Michael Kors, but wasn't keeping any of Kors' charm or his spot-on analogies. Julien is Tom Jones to Kors' Frank Sinatra. I also really am not a fan of Julien McDonald's clothes. He uses a lot of fur, which is not my taste, and seems to design tarty clothes for lame-os like Paris Hilton. Dislike. But...his 2011 Fall/Winter RTW show wasn't that bad, to be honest. So, yeah, I'm gonna try to keep an open mind about Julien McDonald.
One thing about UK reality shows that I have trouble with is the incessant "coming up" previews during the show. This show is brutal for repeating clips. Brutal! On the other hand, I love that they use pop songs in the background to let us, the audience, know what we should be feeling. They played Take That a bunch in this episode, so that we knew to be happy for the successful girls and sad for the losers.
The judges auditioned girls in Glasgow and in London. I'm not going to bother with too many details, because...who cares? Let's pick the top 12 and get on with things!!! Here's what you need to know:
Wearing a (hopefully faux-fur) gorilla-esque jacket and leather hammer pants is so hot right now. Wearing a fur hat with a bathing suit? Not hot right now. Snipped! In London, the casting is done at the Chelsea FC stadium. Grace doesn't care about the girls...she's there for the boys!
Hopefully not this guy!! Cheating on Cheryl?
This girl is the "villain" of the episode. We see a clip of her being overconfident at least 4 times. Plus, they play the Spice Girls song Who Do You Think You Are over the top of her footage. Charlie thinks she looks a bit like Margot Kidder. The judges laugh at her when she leaves, and she doesn't make the cut. The sad Leona Lewis cover of a Snow Patrol song lets us know we should feel bad for her.
"I am a better supermodel than even Tyra Banks"
"Ummm..." (PS - I totally love Grace's reaction shots. She rules.)
I love this girl (Brenda) even though Elle totally pulls a Tyra-move on her and makes her cry while prodding her for information about her past modelling rejections. She's super cute so I hope she makes it to the top group. Overall, Elle seems fairly down-to-earth in this episode.
Lovely!
Julien? Not so much. So, if I do end up doing some more recaps of the show, I'll definitely be including a feature each week called...
What did we learn about Julien this week?
Julien eats only one piece of melon for lunch as he is on a diet. Julien likes to steal shiny things. Julien loves to be condescending! He calls one girl "Turkish Delight" on account of her big boobs (and being Turkish), and talks about how much he looooooooves this girl, because she looks totally different and has a man-body. He loves her confidence. I think she is totally fierce looking, but Julien didn't have to go overboard about how different she looks. She reminds me a bit of Serena Williams, who is a total fashion plate and looks amazing in lots of different looks. So, that's pretty much it for this week. Next episode? More lame auditions. Since I don't have much to work with, here is a picture of a girl that got cut that I would have enjoyed learning more about. Editors? XOXO, Emily
Julien & Paris pic via hollywouldnt.onsugar.com; Ashley Cole pic via chelseafc.com
To contact us Click HERE Whoa...you know that summer (and I guess "the party") is over when ANTM is back on the air. This season, Tyra has brought back her "All-Stars": the (so-called) fan favourites from the past 17 cycles. Won't you join me for a little episode recap action? I promise to bring my A-game; it is All-Stars after all.
I watched this episode with a bunch of friends and the only "favourites" that got cheers/applause/kind words were Laura and Allison. The rest got a good 'ole "meh". Oh, btw, ANTM becomes infinitely more watchable if you get together with friends and drink wine while you watch. We even had cake! Thanks pals!
I'm not even going to worry about "booty tooch" until I actually have to. As per usual, we don't see Tyra again until panel. It's a LIVE PANEL!!! In front of thousands of people!!! Even though it's in LA, it totally reminds me of the MuchMusic Video Awards in that it looks like they are trying waaaaaay too hard. Tyra comes out dressed like she is auditioning for a remake of Bugsy Malone. I hope she does not adopt this look for the whole season.
For some reason, Tyra has decided that the judges use an iPad at panel to judge the photos, but still has photos in her hands later on. If you're going to print up the photos anyway, why not use them for judging? Beh!
At the end of panel, Tyra informed us that the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. Que? She also commends the girl who got the snips for being the CEO of her own life. Oh Tyra, you and your Harvard business talk. I bet your roommates in the dorm never get tired of it.
"...and after I trademarked "Smize"™, I became the CEO of my own life..."
Did anything else happen?
After Tyra goes crazy and we get a preview of some of the upcoming guest judges (Kardashians! Kristen Cavalleri! Pretend to be excited!) and prizes, the girls begin to arrive at their faux-home California mansion. This is starting to feel like Bad Girls Club to me.
Angelea appears first, and I immediately smell a rat. She is wearing one of the vile jumpsuits that Tyra wore all cycle 15. Tyra must have made Angelea wear her hand-me-downs because there's no other explanation for wearing such an ugly jumpsuit. I know she's from Buffalo, but come on! Angelea, get thee to the Walden Galleria stat. They have an Urban Outfitters there now, fyi. We get a little reminder of who each girl is as she enters the house. When Lisa shows up, Bianca says out loud what we are all already thinking: "She peed in a diaper". Yup. No living that down. Our first bit of fake drama comes in the form of Bre's entrance. Apparently Bre and Bianca are super-besties but Bre didn't mention to Bianca that she would also be on All-Stars. Bianca is (understandably) a little pissed her friend kept this secret. I'm sure Tyra had nothing to do with Bre's secrecy, hey?
Dominique looks better than I remembered and has just had a baby. Girlfriend looks amazing. Good for you, lady! Sheena & Isis: yay! No one recognizes Kayla because she is now a brunette. Allison tells Isis she's been doing some internships and freelance art directing, and Isis gives her a high five (cute!!). Isis also responds this way when Camille enters, and is quickly becoming my fave: Photo shoot! Mr. Jay arrives, dressed as Freddy from Scooby Doo no less, and tells the girls they'll be shooting in their back yard.
"...in the MYSTERY MACHINE!!!"
They will be styled as their past Top Model personas. Shocker. The shoot is pretty snore-town. Bianca gets grumpy about having her ugly red extensions put back in, because she is a lady now. Brittany tells us that she now models and "hosts" in LA. One of my pals immediately questioned this, as sometimes when ladies say they're "hosts" they really mean they are prostitutes. I don't think she's a prostitute, but it is a bit of a thing that makes you go hmmmmm.
Oldie Shannon won't pose in giant lace underwears, but doesn't mind wearing a teeny bikini bottom. She must have taken logic with Tyra at Harvard.
#waybiggerthanmostshorts
Panel! Live Audience! Screaming! Time lapse photography! Nigel has hair! Miss J is back!
Miss J = business on top, party on the bottom
Guest judge this week is...Nicki Minaj!! I really like her. You know who else likes her? Anna Wintour. I wonder if Nicki got in with Anna thanks to my bff, Andre Leon Talley? Perhaps ALT was so smitten with Nicki after meeting her on ANTM that he introduced these two? In my head, I'm picturing ALT and AW at their weekly Tuesday night supper club (at Ma Peche...no, wait, ALT would totally take AW to Daniel, no doubt) where ALT would keep talking about how funny his new friend Nicki is, how well she judged the photos at panel, how he'll totally bring her along to Blaine Trump's next Hamptons party. I also picture Tyra, nose pressed up against the restaurant window, looking at ALT and AW like this:
Eating food without me? Tyra don't play that. Pop off!
Sorry...back to the task at hand. Nicki Minaj was a great guest judge. She had lots of sass, great critiques, and you could tell Tyra was pissed that she got upstaged.
Here's a quickie live panel recap: Lisa tries to outdo Alexandria's bonnet from last season by wearing one of Blossom's hats. ALT thinks Allison's expression of personal style is brilliant & all love her photo. Nigel reminds us all of Angelea's awesome Hammer-dancing skills and gives her a "Oh no you didn't" when he sees her photo. Tyra thinks Camille's legs have gone to "amazingness" since she competed 7 years ago. Nicki thinks Dominique's photo would be sexy to a man or a woman and Nigel thinks she looks feminine. Tyra calls Oldie Shannon an ANTM OG, Nicki likes the styling of the picture and yells that Shannon's bikini bottoms look like panties.
"Thanks for helping Shannon learn about clothing Ms. Minaj. Kudos!"
Alexandria gets booed! It's totes because she's not wearing her bonnet and has styled her hair to look like Molly's beat up old weave from last cycle. She's trying to have her time, y'all! Stop making her cry. The judges don't like her photo, but think she looks beautiful in person & know she can take good photos. Sheena! Tyra and ALT love her vintage jumpsuit and I think she looks great too. Brittany comes out yelling like she's on wrestling and ALT can't hide his utter disgust:
"Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts. Caftans. My Salon. Tuesdays with Anna at Daniel...."
The censors blur out Isis' side-boob, no idea why. Her photo is great and ALT thinks she looks like a 21st century mermaid. Fabulous! ALT thinks Bianca's photo is too vintage. Nicki doesn't like Bre's short hair but thinks everything else looks dope. Kayla's photo as a super-gay gets mixed reviews. Nicki loves Laura's dress made by Laura's grandma, Wanda Sue. ALT thinks Laura makes Hee-Haw look high fashion and likes Wanda Sue's dress too. At the end of panel, Tyra announces that in addition to judging the photos, the judges will be judging their personalities too. The Jays poll the audience and will report their findings back to Tyra.
Judging! They yimmer and yammer and I doze off for a bit after eating cake and a custard tart.
Photos in Tyra's Hands! Isis gets top photo, and Brittany & Alexandria are the bottom 2. Brittany gets the boot this week, because she is not memorable. Aaaah-duh. Of course she isn't. The only thing memorable about her cycle of ANTM is this:
Next week: yelling! fights! an emergency!
Nice to see you again! Hope you come back next week for more recapping fun happy times.
It's week 2! Yee-haw! We're getting right into this All-Star season, aren't we? This episode we get Ty-overs, drama and a gross hotdog photo shoot. Allez-y!!
Before I get to the recap, I realize that I forgot to mention last week that I saw the actual biggest All-Star from ANTM...in terms of actual success, I mean. I went to a TIFF screening of the new Whit Stillman movie, Damsels in Distress, and saw Analeigh Tipton (from cycle 11) on my way in and my way out. The film was really funny and the acting by Greta Gerwig and the rest of the cast was excellent. Still...there were a few moments where I totally caught Analeigh (or "Lily" as her character is called) wicked smizing at the camera. I'm sure Analeigh is going to be in lots more films, but I really hope for her sake that she can find an acting coach to de-program the ANTM out of her. No more smizing, Analeigh!
And now...the recap.
What did we learn about Tyra this week?
Tyra shows up for 10 seconds early on in the episode and introduces us to Martin Lindstrom...her brand strategist. Oh lawd. Tyra tells the girls that Martin is harsh but he gets results. Tyra, in my humble opinion your "brand" is one of the worst out there. Your idioms and Tyra-isms are dreadful, you are the opposite of sincere, no one on planet earth is more arrogant...how much are you paying this Martin Lindstrom fellow? You should try and get your money back and let someone else try to save your brand.
Tyra had them make a new intro! Horrible. It looks like they hired some high school kid who is obsessed with Floria Sigismondi to make it. Tyra makes sure he includes an unnecessary shot of her slapping her own butt. The girls are smearing what I think is frosting (but what looks like meat) all over the place. Barf. Tyra is continuing to dress like one of the Newsies this season with her ugly ties and suspenders. If you live in Toronto and wake up early for work like me, you'll totally agree that Tyra is dressing like Kevin Frankish this cycle. "Traffic and weather together on the ones! Now lets check in with Frankie Flowers". During deliberations, Tyra decides to give Nigel Barker a Ty-over and shaves off some of his hair. Nigel, you put out a book last year and you have charity work...lots of stuff going on...why the fuck do you put up with Tyra's antics? You know that ALT doesn't put up with as much. It may be okay for the Jays, but sweetheart...what does Tyra have on you? Is it bad? Get the authorities involved if you can and get away! Did anything else happen this week?
After clips of the girls pretending to be excited about the prizes, we get sound bites about elimination and how no one is too sad Brittany is gone. Sheena then starts telling us about how much she wants to win. Uh oh. I like Sheena so I'm worried for her. Tyra's brand guru Martin is there to assign each girl a word that summarizes what their ANTM brand is.
"Your brand...granola bar"
"Your brand word is bonnet. Where is your bonnet?"
"Sorry, but your brand is piss diaper"
"Your brand word is, ummm..."
The brand word I would assign Martin is "Sprockets" on account of his black turtleneck and Euro-accent (Swedish, not German, but still). In case that old timey-SNL reference is lost on you, my backup brand word for Martin is rude. He asks each girl questions like, "Do people trust you?" and when they say yes, he quickly responds with a "No". He tells Kayla that being a lesbian is so five years ago. For serious. It becomes apparent pretty quick that this one-word brand nonsense is a clever way for the producers to get rid of some of the girls who aren't as exciting as the others. Why else would they give ambiguous and conceptual words like "free" and "unexpected" to some girls, and then give the rest much easier words to work with?
"Sorry that lesbianism is out of style. I'm a single man. Wanna go for dinner with me at Ikea?"
When Martin told Angelea she is like "cheap shoes", I was really hoping she'd go a little Cheektowaga on him and set him straight. "Hey Sprockets, just because there are some very fine bargains at the DSW at the Walden Galleria, doesn't mean I'm all up in that. Don't get it twisted." Angelea's word is persistence, which I hope means that Tyra will keep her around for awhile. She and Isis are my two faves right now. Martin tells Alexandria that her fans think she's annoying and that there's no value in what she's saying. That would be really hard to hear, and Alexandria takes it surprisingly well. It wouldn't shock me to learn that most of her silly soundbites from last season are the result of being prodded for hours by producers looking to portray her as that cycle's cray-cray lady. Buck up, Alexandria. I don't think you're annoying. Especially compared to this:There is some fake drama with Bianca, Camille and Dominique which is too dumb to spend much time discussing. Mr. Jay! Miss J! Ashlee Simpson? Ashlee is apparently there to oversee the Ty-overs for the contestants. Wouldn't that make them Simp-overs? Nose jobs for everyone!!! Anyways, Tyra is too lazy to even dream up make-overs for the contestants this cycle. It must not fit with her brand. Bianca gives Isis a lesson about the difference between weaves and extentions: "Weave is like the ghetto word. You're supposed to say extentions. Weave just sounds tacky...weave is tacky, and you are tacky so you are weave. I am extentions." Miss J tells Sheena that she will be getting her hair chopped off...and then lets her know he's kidding. Because her word is unexpected, she is supposed to expect the unexpected and...her look stays exactly the same. Lisa wants to keep her hair long because she's getting married in 2 months. Of course they chop it off and Mr Jay gives her shit when she speaks up about it. If you had told me to cut my hair 2 months before my wedding, I probably would have stabbed you. Don't fuck with the bride-to-be! Lisa accepts the change and her haircut does look really good. Isis and Dominique do pretty great impressions of Alexandria getting her hair chopped off. She screams in happiness, and it seems fake, fake, fake. She even cries later on because she says she's so happy about how she looks. Bre has a meltdown in the bathroom about them chopping off her hair. They show Bianca being sweet with her later in the episode, trying to cheer her up about her hair. I hope they continue to show more of Bre and Bianca's friendship this cycle. It's one of the only things on this cycle that seems genuine. The Jays show up with Pinks chili dogs and try to sell them to the girls as being classy. The girls will be creating a hot dog and then shooting with the dog while keeping their brand word in mind. The idea for this shoot is one of the worst in ANTM history. It's just gross. I'm not even going to recap it. Just look at these pics: Panel! Ashley Simpson is the guest judge. I hate her styling: she's wearing a black turtleneck with a heart cut-out over the boobs and too much makeup and jewellery. Her styling reminds me of Kelly Taylor's mom on BH 90210 when she was doing coke at the school fashion show. On to the photos...the judges love Dominique's photo even though she looks like she's smelling her guacamole-covered fingers. Bianca gets lots of love for her photo. Shannon looks lovely. Ashlee thinks that Camille is doing a joke pose and ALT thinks Camille is too pageant. Nigel goes on and on about how "lustable" Laura's photo is. I now suspect that Tyra brought in the iPad this cycle so that Nigel wouldn't sneak any of the photos into the bathroom with him. ALT loves the Wanda Sue-creation that Laura is wearing, and Tyra loves the Isis-creation that Isis is wearing. Isis' photo on the other hand...Nigel thinks it's slightly dirty. ALT's quote: "Standing here you're fabulous. Here [gestures to photo], I don't want to know you, I don't want to see you, I would be ruuuuuuuuuning for the car." Ouch. Tyra of course loves the photo. Kayla does not look "free" enough eating her hotdog. Tyra cautions Allison not to go too cute in her photos. Alexandria looks more sweet than tough in her picture, but the judges love her photo and haircut. Sheena is not unexpected enough eating her hotdog. Ashlee wishes she were holding up her dress or something. ALT thinks Angelea looks like Niki Taylor, Sophia Loren and Melania Trump. Everyone loves Lisa's interpretation of daring...which is chewing her hot dog up and showing the chewed food to the camera. Daring? I guess. Gross? Yes. The best is that ALT thinks this looks like Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex and the City. SJP must have stood up ALT and AW at their Tuesday night supper club at Daniel for him to say something so mean. ALT and Tyra love Bre's new look, but think she looks sad. Tyra wonders where Bre's energy went and Bre reminds them that she is no longer 19, and is more reserved at 25. This sets Ashlee off as she is 26 and does not want to be mature or reserved thank you very much. Tyra does some mess of an impression, and all judges agree her photo is fine but needs more sparkle.
Photos in Tyra's Hands! Lisa is called first and her regurgitated hot dog will be shown all over the internets on the Pinks hotdog website. Bottom 2 this week are Kayla & Sheena, and Sheena gets the boot. Sadly, the elimination of the contestant whose brand word was "unexpected" was not unexpected at all. Chin up, Sheena! You are awesome. I hope you get to host a reality competition show soon, perhaps one that will beat ANTM in the ratings and get it cancelled. Bye Sheena! Next week: Mario Lopez! Dancing on stilts! In pairs! What?
Our first bit of fake drama comes in the form of Bre's entrance. Apparently Bre and Bianca are super-besties but Bre didn't mention to Bianca that she would also be on All-Stars. Bianca is (understandably) a little pissed her friend kept this secret. I'm sure Tyra had nothing to do with Bre's secrecy, hey?
There is some fake drama with Bianca, Camille and Dominique which is too dumb to spend much time discussing. Mr. Jay! Miss J! Ashlee Simpson? Ashlee is apparently there to oversee the Ty-overs for the contestants. Wouldn't that make them Simp-overs? Nose jobs for everyone!!! Anyways, Tyra is too lazy to even dream up make-overs for the contestants this cycle. It must not fit with her brand.
